All that is
it feels like a dull ache. a pain in my chest. like a humming that's not stopping. he's changed his profile photo. and he looks amazing. wearing a suit and a crisp white shirt. sexy as hell. I hate him. I caved. I sent him a friend request and a message a long the lines of 'hey, it's been ages ive been in oman for a while only just back (to give the impression I'd been away and busy) sent you a message and it wouldnt send. just wanted to say happy xmas etc. that was two days ago. on the night of day. should I have waited until boxing day? did it look as though on such a night where one should be spending with family, and doinng their own thing and having fun i was pining after him? possibly. probably. my rationale was pathetic. not pathetic as in crap, but pathetic as in 'just low'. and underhanded and self sacrificial. I thought if i did it on xmas day he'd remember me in a warmer light and in the spirit of christmas, respond to me. it seems the rules remain the same though. according the fcbk, he changed his profile pic 'about an hour ago' so he's def been online. but hasn't responded to my request or my message. so it didn't work. jesus listen to my observations... I sound like a 15 year girl. I fucking hate him. but I can't help it. it's almost like winning points now like I don't care whether i make myself look desperate or ridiculous or cheap, i just want his response. i hate him.