LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2012-12-26 22:46:39 (UTC)

Push

10:46 PM


"Indie Rokkers" by MGMT


I mean, I guess just like every other depressed teen, I push people away. That's what I do. My brain stops me from telling them anything and instead I ask them the question that scares them away: Why?

As in, why are you helping me? Why do you enjoy this? Why do you act like I am not a burden? Just go away. Go. This isn't your problem to solve. You don't have to do this. In other words, save yourself.

I'm tired. I am really, really tired. Tired of everything. I'm tired of fighting and I'm tired of cutting... I'm also tired of NOT cutting.

I'm sick of re telling my story to everyone who wants to help and I'm tired of people acting like nothing's wrong... But I also hate when they acknowledge it.

I'm tired of being sick every time I see a pill, of always feeling like I'm going to puke, of being fat, of lying, of being two different people and hating both of them.

I'm tired of being confused. I'm tired of waking up too early and I'm tired of sleeping too much.


I'm so tired of feeling guilty and being evil and lazy and hateful and bitter and lonely and... and....


I'm going to go comfort my friend Brianna. Then, I am going to bed.


I'm so tired.




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