"Cemetery" by Say Anything
Something that really bothers me about myself is that I always feel lonely but when someone texts me or something, or they try to hang out with me, I usually try to avoid meeting up with them. A lot of the time, we actually hang out and text and stuff, but I just feel like a hypocrite because I get like one message, but I guess that's not enough for me.
I try to be as honest as I can on here so I am saying if you hated how whiny I sounded in the last five or so entries, then you are not alone. I hated it too, but it was how I felt.
One strange thing that happened today is that Caroline and Ethan came in my room to ask me what I wanted for Christmas and while Caroline was talking to me, I saw Ethan staring at something at my desk. Or maybe he was just staring into space.
But I followed his gaze and realized -- oh shit! -- I had forgotten to put away my razor, blade, and knife sharpener. I think he found out about me cutting. He hasn't said anything or treated me differently (he still beats me up) though so I suppose I don't care.
I'm just waiting for Caroline and Ethan to get home now because I'm really, really bored and I've been on tumblr for HOURS.
I have a problem, haha.
But yeah, the point is I sounded gross and... just ew, so I apologize for bombarding the world with emo nonsense.