Made a Decision
I have come to a decision. At the end, making the decision was very simple and I feel very comfortable with it. I am going to use the most powerful tool I have. I am going to PRAY.
I am going:-
Pray to God to use me, in a way to educate my wife.
Pray to God to bless her
Pray to God that he reveals himself to her in the only way he can.
Pray to God every day to bless my home, my children and my marriage
Pray to God before I talk to her to give me wisdom
Pray to God to give me the spirit of reconciliation
Pray to God to remove the spirit of conflict, annoyance and anger from me
Pray to God to make her attractive again in my eyes
Pray to God to make me attractive again in her eyes
I truly believe God is using me in a special way. I have always asked him to use me as a conduit and I believe He (with a sense of humour) is telling me ‘okay but let’s start with your home’. I can’t believe I had this powerful tool at my disposal and yet I was searching for answers with man, impatient and waiting for my wife to snap out of her siege mentality. That is not going to happen.
I have no time limit on my new regime and I am not expecting miracles but I believe I owe it to my children, my wife and God to exhaust and immerse myself in prayer and give it my all. When the time comes I will know….the time when I would have given my all and if we are still sailing in the same direction of destruction…then I will move on with my head held high but before then I will pray and pray and pray. Also in addition to that I will not just sit down and wait for miracles…..I will be proactive in a balanced way….I will not retaliate or react to any provocation neither will I bow down to unreasonable requests. My actions and my words will be progressive. It is also very important that we do not end up together without any significant paradigm shift in our lives especially towards one another. Otherwise there is no point. The minimum would be mutual respect and actions and words to show that we care for one another.