z2smith

z2Smith
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2012-12-18 09:06:55 (UTC)

Falling off the No Porn wagon

After about 5 months or so of not watching any porn at all I fell off the wagon last night. I have been off sex since February this year and for someone whose life was dominated by the myth that I couldn’t do without it, I have since seen the light. There is nothing we cannot do without, yes people suffer from addiction but that is another level . What I am talking about is our thought process. We should never say ‘I can’t do without this or that’, everything in life apart from sleep and food is a convenience. If you had asked Nelson Mandela if he could live in solitary confinement for such a long period he would have probably said ‘Never!’. We should stop defining our limits, God has no limit and he has created us in his image so we should have no limit.

Back to my wagon…..I watched the usual suspects that I usually enjoy but with a significant difference….in the past I picture myself in there with the people I am watching. I want to be there with them doing what they were doing, I feel the urge so much I try and recreate the scene later with an escort. I can write about this now as I feel so free. I feel no urge or desire to be in the act with the people I watched last night. I don’t feel like going to see any one for sex, I actually do not want to have sex. More importantly I don’t feel the urge to watch porn again. I don’t know the future but I believe deep down inside that yesterday night was a significant step for me in my road to righteousness. I don’t think I will be watching those things again because of a simple fact, it didn’t really do it for me. I have moved on spiritually and I going to a place where by His mercy sex will be an enjoyable and loving act with the person I share my life with.


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