I fear the day I dread the most is imminent.
The current situation cannot continue like this, sooner or later I am going to have to make a decision. I cannot continue like this and let events determine the outcome of my life. I have to be proactive and for once make a very bold decision. It’s going to be very difficult. I love my children and they seem very happy to have mummy and daddy albeit oblivious to our disagreement but they are very happy. On the other hand I have no love life and probably will never have as long as I remain in this current situation. So do I sacrifice my love live and happiness for my children’s happiness or is there a way to achieve both? Some days I feel really lonely and unhappy some days I am okay but I certainly do not like been in close proximity to her and her venom. All she wants to do is make my life difficult one way or the other. She doesn’t seem capable of letting go the hurt and bitterness. It is her prerogative, she has the right to hold on to what she wants and not forgive but I am just amazed as the depth of her bitterness and how far she will go to maintain this conflict. She seems very comfortable and revels in the dispute and I can she is really prepared for an all-out war. But I am not going to give her that satisfaction. I hope I can continue to pursue what I feel is right irrespective of her actions…it is called Agape Love….the love that only comes from God….the divine love….that is to love someone that seem to hate you….to help someone that seem to want to destroy you….i can function in the sphere….if I achieve righteousness….my ultimate goal is to be righteous, righteous in the eyes of God….I have a duty on this to be righteous and make a difference and not just end up fighting all my life…..