Story of My Life
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2012-12-12 05:32:46 (UTC)

Life of a wife and mother

Im trapped. Lost in my own world. I made so many mistakes and messed up decisions. Im sitting in darkness. Sometimes i want to stay in the darkness, maybe then i wont feel any more pain. I have been married before. I left my first husband for my second husband. Thinking i found the man of my dreams. I got tired of the fighting and cheating my first husband put me through. I got tired of taking care of our daughter by myself. So i found another man, he preached the bible to me, he preached kindness and love. I just knew he would be the one to save me. Only come to find out he had never left his childs mother. By then it was too late, i was pregnant with my second child. His childs mother left him. We got married. But i am reminded of how big of a mistake that was everyday when he puts his hands on my, slaps me, drags me, belittles me, spits on me, cheats on me. Even my first husband wasnt as bad as this Christain wanna be. He leaves me home all day and night some days, yet when I want to go out, i cant. Or i need to find a baby sitter because he wont watch the kids. Theres so much more i want to say but at the end of the day, i just know first hand that life isnt fair. Sometimes i want to end it all because i dont think i will ever be truly happy. I know my kids deserve better.