All that is
Ad 2:
2012-12-07 23:59:51 (UTC)


I'm suffering. I can't see an end to it either. everything i do/say/listen to/see reminds me of him. even when i think back to almost-loves to remember how i got over them and that i did in fact get over them, and therefore this will be the case at some point for my current turmoil, It doesn't do much to remove the pain. i can't imagine a period in a few months from now where i will not think about him anymore. I just keep looking into his facebk pg every day, even though i can only see his profile pic and cover photo and his 'like' activity' but it's almost as if this daily ritual is somehow sustaining me. when i look at his page i hope to see if there's any updates. if he's updated his cover photo (as he had done today), i get an momentary jolt of nervousness and excitement. excitement for the obvious reason which is that he's still alive and kicking and there's new info or photo to 'consume' literally. and nervousness because the question of 'should I add him?' presents itself more pressingly to me, because it almost feels like there is a window. today I saw he liked '2012 end of the world' 57 mins ago. I got a sudden jolt of panic at reading this, as i thought should I add him now, right this minute when I can see he's online or just recently been? But would that make any difference as to whether or not he accepts? It's really just for my own piece of mind so that I can see that he's looked at it etc. If he wants to add me he knows where to find me as I sent him a facebook msg before we ever met up - he didn't reply to it though which was strange as when he got my text (following the facbok msg) he replied very enthusiastically and alluded to the drinks he initially suggested we had. And i don't know what happened because when we spent time together I didn't mention (for fear of being questioned) the fact that I messaged him on fcbk - and we looked through facebook as well. nor did he. hmm

I think he's also definitely switched numbers as his mobile number is going straight to voicemail.

What do i do?