LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2012-12-06 16:44:47 (UTC)

Dead.


December 6, 2012 Thursday 4:45 PM


"Karma Police" by Radiohead

I have felt dead today. I feel empty, lonely, sad. I got home, shoved three tamales, a couple crackers, chugged a chai latte, drank a glass of ginger ale and then I went upstairs, changed into shorts, grabbed my laptop, razor, and phone. Then I climbed up to my loft will all that shit and propped up my pillows. That's all I have done.

I know, I'm so fat. I want one of those tight, muscly, flat stomachs that all pretty girls, not this sliced up, meaty thing hanging from my ribs.

The lights are off.

I want to stop thinking forever. I was so happy all week. I was so good at pretending to be happy today, during school..

Dead. I feel so dead. It's awful that I feel so dead. I wish I was dead. Shouldn't this be peaceful? Now, I'm just complaining. God, I hate me. I hate me so much.


I had a headache so I took an ibuprofen.... who knows. Maybe I'll take a couple more pills, something like seven to start off. Apparently, I'll be able to take more if I space them. Whatever.

Why do I do this?

I don't know,

Bye, now.


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