Tsk Tsk Tsk
December 1, 2012
Oh, Veronica. Did you want to be better?
And you lie here, frustrated because your blade wasn't sharp enough. But what's this? YOU KEEP A BLADE SHARPENER IN YOUR ROOM. So, that's solves. Let yourself bleed. Let yourself release the pain.
I want to not be lonely. I want to be busy. So I don't have to think. It all came back. All the feelings I lacked this week came back tenfold, a wave that crashed onto me and send me tumbling through the salty water breathlessly, drowning me.
I want someone to talk to. It's so hard with everyone thinking I'm okay, now. I wanted that because even when they knew I'd been suicidal, they didn't do ANYTHING. Anything.
I want someone to talk to at night when I get crazy and lonely and bloody.
I want someone to sneak out for me instead of me always sneaking out for them. I want someone to be reckless with.
I want to let go. Drink, smoke, whatever. I don't care, I'm going to kill myself anyway, why not have a little fun before I do it?
Oh, Veronica. We don't always get what we want. The worst part is it seems you can't even cry, except for from slit skin seeping blood.
I'm shivering. A habit of mine, when I get in my worst moods.
When no one is here to save me
When I take
a little more.
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