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2012-11-24 18:49:36 (UTC)

Old Entries

6:49 PM

I just went through the old diary I shared with Lily and I deleted all the entries, but here are two that I liked.

BRAIN WORLD October 2, 2011

"All alone
In an empty world
Where the sun once shone
I sleep alone"

MISSING October 25, 2011

"What is it that I feel is missing?
There is something
That should be there.
But is not.

Like it stood up and said,
"Coffee break. See yah."
And now I am left with a hole
That should be filled with that
Missing Something.

Everyone needs a Something.
A something that keeps you
Some can compensate for that hole

With music
Others use religion or
Whatnot. Maybe hobbies.
I don't.

I get little sleep.
I wake up dreading school
dreading the next few years of my life,
Dreading my dad's next sabbatical.

Praying for my mother, and
For Caroline, who is struggling.
I look at myself and hate
What I see.

But I shrug it off,
because I can't do shit
about it.
Then, I somehow make

It through the day,
swimming in my mind,
a fishbowl.
I am okay.

But I need something.
I don't know what it is,
but I'm hoping I find it.

I guess I felt pretty much the same a little more than a year ago, like I do now. But this was before the first cut.

I had to change my sister's name into the one I am using on this diary. Later, I'll make an entry as to why I am using certain names for certain people.


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