Focus

Over the hills and through the woods❣️
2012-11-24 17:56:17 (UTC)

The lies my mother told me....

Schizophrenia is a serious mental disease. My mother was diagnosed with this years ago. It made my life growing up a living hell. Public and private hell. I have to go to work shortly so really, I don't have time to go into much details. But I just wanted to start my topic so when I come back I can go in further details.

I tried so hard to help my mother. She is now in a restricted monitored supervised living facility because she is determined to be a threat to society and herself. Her ongoing downfall was the fact that she didn't want to take her medication. It's caused so many problems for her and all those around her. Sometimes I feel so much hate and anger towards her for fucking up my life. I'm not the one to play victim, but dammit she was the cause of some of my fucking downfalls. No victim just facts. I hate blaming her for things I went through but it's the fucking truth. She fucked up my life. The early part and throughout my adolescent years. Until recently she tried to fuck over my life now that I'm out of high school and in college. The fact that she is in a facility now has prevented her from bothering me. I almost feel a sigh of relief. I don't trust people because of her.

Ok, I know I said I wasn't gonna go into much detail but shit I get carried away when I talk about my mother. I mean hell a mother is the first person a baby forms a relationship with. I loved my mother so much. Yes I did say" loved" .... I mean I still love her but a lot of that love has turned into bitterness towards her because of all the bullshit she kept up on a consistent basis. All I ever wanted growing up was for my mother to be normal and STAY normal. It never came to pass...........


Ok time 2 go...I'll be back later tonight diary!




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