Fallen from Grace
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2012-11-20 03:16:23 (UTC)

Last night

I was awoken with fear last night. I hate how sometimes in the night my demons still get to me. Demons I do not speak of… Won’t speak of. I was reliving when my humanity was stolen. I felt it all over again. I felt like my soul was being harvested. I was scared and ridden with panic and fear. I had forgotten where I was and I felt isolated; vulnerable; exposed to elements. I felt my boil begin to boil as my muscles tighten. Anger and confusion consume me. Its really pouring down really hard and every drop is another silence being broken. The only light in the dream is the soft but prevent glow from the screen of a phone and the flicker of lightning that seem to be frantically breaking throughout the car. In a flash of lightning I saw a face from my past and it grabbed me causing me to wreck the car off a bridge. I drawn in the dream and it was so real I woke up gasping. I saw the face of Decon. Decon is the man he took me form a boys home and did things to me no child should ever have to go though… He stole my innocence. I haven’t thought of him a while. They say that we only dream for about 2 minutes the entire time you sleep. If its true it seemed an eternity. Am I forced to repeat it for an eternity? It took me awhile to come back to reality completely its 2:30 in the morning. Its insane… When I was in the city where I met decon I was plagued with night mares of Decon. I decided to visit the house he held me in from the age of 9 to 13. I have not really lost much sleep over the ordeal. I hope it goes away soon.

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