robemtmedic

Rob Williams
2012-11-11 15:28:44 (UTC)

Success

This title makes me wonder, what is success and how do you know when you have acheived it? Clearly short term success is easier to understand than that of long term success. Is success the steps you take to get what you want? At what point do you feel you have done what it takes that others ask of you and you ask of yourself? I am hoping this all becomes more clear as I continue on the path to self re-discovery.

I once again was able to be fornute enough to see true love and support yesterday from Chara. What an amazing woman she is and I wonder how I am this lucky to have her in my life as a fiance, best friend, lover, confidant, and supporter. she has given me hope for the future and I can do what I set my mind to. I am scared to think about where I would be if not for her, her forgiveness, her support, and her love. My focus is to get healthy for me, but without her there is no me, so I choose to say get healthy for us! I want nothing more than for the both of us to be happy, healthy, and to enjoy that with our families. I am hoping to once again make her proud of me through my words, my actions, hardwork, love, affection and behavioral changes. I wish so much for her to be proud of me and proud to be with me. This is the woman of my dreams and it breaks my heart to have been so lost and cause so much hurt to her. I fear that I may lose her and never have a chance again to prove myself. I pray that she continues to stand by me through these changes, and stick it out with me because, IT IS GOING TO BE MUCH BETTER than ever before. I am comitted to fix this, and comitted to Chara and our family. The best thing that has ever happened to me is Chara, and I would be devestated to ruin that.

Saturday was another great day. I cleaned my truck and got rid of all the beer bottles and cans. Chara and I spent the day shopping, eating dinner and even seeing my youngest daughter I havent seen in 3 months. It was awesome, we walked around the mall and acted silly. I wish we had spent more time together but some is better than none, and I enjoyed it. Chara and I eventually made it back home and got comfortable in order to head to the couch. We again fell asleep in each others arms, my favorite thing! There is nothing like being wrapped up with her and doing absolutely nothing besides hearing her breath, feeling her heartbeat, and smelling her sweet smell. No major events throughout today and she remained to be sweet, caring, loving, and supportive. I truly cannot say enough good things about this woman, she is my heart and soul and the one I want for forever with! Changes are upon me and I feel it, it feels amazing! It feels as though I am on the starting line of a life marathon that I have no doubt I will win by a long shot! I am throwing all the marbles in and gaining my life back from whatever took it from me!
Until the next time...POSITIVE THINKING PROVIDES POSITIVE RESULTS!




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