littlebit

Crazy Days
2012-11-08 15:45:37 (UTC)

I guess since Ive made this..

I guess since Ive made this diary public, I might as well introduce myself.

I'm married, almost 25 years now, 42 years old with two adult children. I work part time and am an animal advocate. I currently have seven dogs, soon to be eight. Five of which I resqued from southern states.

I suffer from major depression and anxiety. I have been struggling quite a bit for the last two years, starting with an all out nervous breakdown.

I am on welbutrin and lexapro and am to be using the lux light, 30min/3 days per week at the gym and apts with the therapist.
I had a doctors appointment today which left me kinda emotionless, for the lack of a better word.

My mood swings lately have been so up and down, its exhausting. Stressfull just waking up in the morning and hoping I can just function like a normal person that day.

I've started to have problems with my spending, with along with the severe mood changes equals bi polar disorder. At least a comporent of that.

We are talking abot adding another med, neurontin, if I dont see progress in the next month with the lux light.

How I wish I could be the "old Me'. I managed a store for 12 years and was in charge of every aspect, from employees, accounting, payroll and building maintnence. This probably is what did me in. Drove me crazy. :) They now have three people doing the one job I did. Maybe now they realize how hard I worked.

One of my biggest problems is my memory. Because of the meds, its gone. Makes it harder with everything. Especially my job. Sometimes I feel like a stupid blonde and I so much wish they knew the old me. Now I forget, get confused easily and have problems speaking. Hard to call up specific words, its like I draw a blank.

Anyway, I figured this would be good to track my ups and downs. At first I wanted my journal private but now if I could remain nameless maybe I can get some imput and meet people who truely understand what I'm tackling here. :)




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