Experienced Life
2012-10-20 11:25:13 (UTC)

It's been awhile

So, it's been awhile since I last posted. Not sure if I have any drama or just used to it. My ex-boss is back. I moved and got promoted in another dept and now he got transferred back to the group I'm at. WTF is that? He was a good tech but he sucks as a supervisor. So what do I do? I go on vacation for a week and contemplate my options.

Also, I got the kids with strings attached of course. Same old line from the ex about wanting to come back and start all over. I don't really know what to do. I get confused about what's best for me, for the kids, and if I'm just lonely or horny. I dunno.

Anyway, the ex and her man had a falling out. I told her I can help her get out and move in the area I'm at. I'd help with the kids and give all my time to them. So I stopped going to the single parent group I hang with because it bugs the ex and she wouldn't let me hang with the kids if I did. So, I did my part. Spent all my time, effort, and income on the kids. So what do I get?

I get a call from the Ex's ex boyfriend. He tells me he wants to speak to his wife. I of course knew what this meant immediately. The ex was begging to come back to me and start a new life. I told her that I'd take it slow. Earn your friendship first and see what happens. Come back as friends with a clean slate. Tell everything we need to know. Well, she sort of forgot to tell me she married the guy last Nov 2011 and that they didn't even last a year before it all fell apart.

I laugh. The ex never ceases to amaze me with her lies and deceit. So today, the kids were with me. I watch them sleeping all innocent and their life dependent on what I decide to do soon. They can be with me and I could shed normalcy and a chance for them to grow up with some sort of education, self esteem, and strength to take on life.

If I bail out on them, I'm pretty sure their chances in life will be filled with hardship. I know it. They way the ex is leading by example, I'm sure they will be at a disadvantage.

Then I think of me. What about me? Didn't I have take scoop enough shit to say that I should now take care of myself? My finances? My goals? My peace in life? Should I bail out on them so that I can get the hell out of this cancer? Will the kiddos grow up later and say that I abandoned them?

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. The phone call I got was from my Ex's (now newly discovered) husband. He said he wanted to talk to her. I hung up because I don't even acknowledge his existence. He texts me soon after and shows me the text from my ex to him. So be it. It contained communication about my ex saying she loves him and all that stuff. Me? I'm done with that shit. I forward the email to my ex and told her she can't have it both ways anymore and that she should know by now that liars will never be able to get away with it. They eventually get busted. I told her time and time again that she always gets busted and this is just another example of how shit blows up in liars faces.

Will she look at this as lesson learned? Nope, she won't. It's not in her to do what she says she'll do. So whatever.

I just don't know what I want to do in life. Even without the ex causing mild drama, I'm lost with no purpose. I miss my friends from the group. I don't even play in a dart league anymore. I made a deal to put all my effort in the kids. Seems like I'm the only one holding the bag.

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