Vanilla

The present

I feel like i keep on losing things...as if my life is going back...I tried to replace the grief but i end up grieving about the old and the new. I dont know whats worse...living a life where I never felt love and company...or having that for a short while and then it taken away from you.

I feel like people are trying to tell me...I dont deserve company that I should suck it up and learn to live alone..why? care is a basic human need, company is a basic human need. So why must I bear it? Im losing faith. But I have also accepted it...that i am meant to walk this path alone...my hope in love is diminishing. So now I can grief the loss of myself.