twistedangel2012

The Wildflower
2012-10-14 06:30:33 (UTC)

Addictions

Here's to the strong ones, the ones who make it. They make it possible to believe that people can change. People can beat addictions, they can stop hurting the ones they love with their selfish needs.

They can believe that it is possible to help their loved one through the hard time they are having, through the struggle of addiction and the realization that enabling the addict may seem easier but it is much easier to know you tried to make a difference.

Addictions and co dependence issues we all struggle with... some of us need caffeine, some of us need a man, or a woman. Some of us need to be spoiled, or we need to inflict pain on someone else in order to forget about our own pain in some way or another. Any wrong act committed is only to hide the pain you still have for past guilt driven choices you have made.

My Mother, My Sister, My Father, My 3 Sons fathers, My step son are all drug addicts. Myself included. I have my crutches, crutches I crave daily, and without them I suffer withdraw, it creates impatience with the children, it creates anger and short temper builds up and eventually I will be unhappy until I get what I tell myself that I need. I know it is mind over matter, and I want to train my brain to not want these things...

these things are cigarettes
weed
energy drinks
sex

The sex one I am working on and these last few months being single, and losing someone I was in love with and sharing my life with intimately has really put that lesson of life into overdrive.

Today is not about my crutches though, today I want to say a prayer for my step son, and my daughter in law.

They are new parents of a beautiful baby girl who was born with a hole in her heart. Her mother is a wonderful girl with a big heart, and she loves all of her children with everything she has, unfortunately it doesn't seem to be enough to be able to emotionally care for a child. She was counting on Damien to come through. He promised her he would stay clean. He did not keep his promise.

She had a baby girl only days ago and she left the hospital without her little girl. She misses her and she finds herself torn between Damien and Lux.

I pray that angels above come help them, please find a way to reach Damien and the new mother. Help her to see a healthier way, and help him want to give her more nurture and faith, help these two become stronger as one and be able to care for their daughter, and if this is not possible, please god, find a way to have my loved ones find peace from the problems attached to being trapped into enabling Damien any longer, it is not doing him any good. We must tell Damien how we feel, and we pray he doesn't hurt any of us... it is a horrible way to live life. In fear of your loved one stealing from you, using you and draining the life out of you so you no longer have the strength that is needed to tell him no.

I love you Damien and Lux
I love you Jude

Please angels above and any higher power, bring this family the faith and courage they need to beat this vicious battle of addiction, and please stand beside Lux through her doctors visits, please keep her safe.





Ad: