vt

It's A Promise
2012-10-04 11:59:57 (UTC)

Day 5

Yet another day..
Nothing happens.
Out with friends for most and alone for the rest...
an interesting change of the routine as the tables were turned
Most days I spend on my own and little with friends.
It's not that I'm boring or that my friends are boring. I'm lazy and unmotivated. I think that I'm also quite different I'm just a different person so people might find it challenging to warm up to me. I do try but in the end I won't change who I am just to make friends. Also I'm a lonely person and I've always been, I'm the only child of a single mother who went to work on Monday and didn't come back until Thursday. I don't mean to sound sulky or to have some kind of a pity party for myself because to me it's not sad or strange not most of the time anyway because for me it's normal, that's the way it's always been and that's how I grew up. Of course things get iffy... specially around father's day when my friends talk about all the amazing things of having a father and all the amazing things they do with them. But after about a day everything is ok again. So anyway I think that growing up as a loner really is what challenges me the most in not so much making friends... but keeping them.
and now I'm sitting here listening to nothing, talking to no one, thinking of what I would like my life to be like. Although I kid myself into thinking that I'm ok with being lonely, I'm writing this secretly hoping that someone out there feels similarly. Which says to me that obviously I'm not ok with being lonely.
But well, who is? xD




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