La Nena

j0URNEY_t0_mY_w0RLD
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2012-09-21 04:21:21 (UTC)

Not physically attracted

Dear journal ,

I am talking to my ex boyfriend whom I broke up with when he was in Afghanistan. I couldn't deal with the long term relationship. It just wasn't for me. He's still over there but he's coming back in about two months. He was so good to me, he treated me right, told me he loved me, never bored me. He was the perfect guy. Except there was one thing he isn't very attractive. I couldn't let it go. I kept thinking about it and thinking about it. Until finally I thought about it too much and it was over. Only thing is when i left him I became very dark inside. I was becoming someone I didn't want to be. When I was with him I remember being so happy and live. I had so much fun with him, he was like my best friend for those couple of months before he had to get deployed. For some reason I hated him and I don't know why when I broke up with him. He never did anything wrong to me. I know I have issues. Anger issues at that. But after almost eight months I finally came to turns with myself that I needed to apologize to him. It was eating me up inside and that's why I was so miserable. I didn't want to be the person that I was becoming. As I did the message I realized wow I really miss him. He replied and we started talking again. He calls me everyday Just to see how I'm doing, I think it's the sweetest thing. I'm realizing I actually have feelings for him. But this is where it gets tough . When he comes back I just hope I don't start with that crap again of not being physically attractive to him. Can someone help me??!!


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