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Man I think I made a huge mistake with a most of the guys I dated. And being a nice guy and all, I still care for all of them. There was Dylan, C-jay, Benito, Jimmy, Eddie, Rafael, Derik, Pedro, Adrian, Andy, Miguel, Michael, Zach, Ivan, Noe, Charlie, Daniel, Frank, Sebastian, Gavin, Jose, etc. There are to many guys too say. I had sexual relations with 6 of the guys I mentioned. With Benito, Jimmy, and Eddie, I didn't do much. I actually went the whole way with Charlie, Andy, and Rafael. I don't regret it. (except with Charlie) Andy was my first. We did it outside at in a park at 3 in the morning. The other times he sneaked into my room and well we did it on my bed. With Charlie, it was in his car. With Rafael, it was in his car, too. Some people call me a whore and everything, but you know I'm not. I didn't pressure them to have sex with me. It just happened. Well with Charlie, it just happened. With Andy, it was all in the moment. Everything seemed so right. But Andy left to college and well I don't talk to him anymore. I chased that boy for over 4 years. The first day I actually meet him, we had sex. Andy really did mean a lot to me. Ever since 8th grade when i met him, I had always had a huge major crush on him. I told him I loved him around the 2nd year of knowing him. The next day, he ended up getting in a relationship with some guy so yeah. Major heartbreak. Andy always told me he had feelings for me, but he didn't show them until the last week whenever he was leaving for college. That had really pissed me off. But oh well. I can honestly say that boys suck. You know most of the guys just used me for personal reasons. And, to be honest, I did hurt some. I really didn't mean to but things happen. Oh well, you can't change the past. I'll write soon. Later journal.
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