my Journey
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2012-09-11 18:36:41 (UTC)

~The Silence~

Each day the time gets longer
Each beat my heart yearns harder
i try stuffing down my fears
Only to see them reappear.
A necessary evil i wish we could circumvent
And in the aftermath of this will You still be my friend?

Each one before has come and gone
i’m terrified to find
A void of lonely space
Where Your face once i left behind.

Silence so severe, so hard to honor Your request
How long until i can return? Have You already left?

Part of me screams You are waiting
Part of me just cries
Part of me is cynical
And part is petrified.

And i don’t know what i should think
i was bringing You down
You felt that i had sold You out
You might not be around.

In fact, as i recall You didn’t want to see my face.
Never saw me wear my collar which i count a huge disgrace…
At the time i didn’t think to think but could it be
That Your request was just Your way of letting go of me?

How can i know? When is it okay for Your slave to speak?
i love You and i miss You and i’m trying hard to breathe.
If You have not abandoned me there’s no reason to mourn
And i can just suppress the feelings that leave me so torn.

But if the sun has set on us then part of me must die
A torrent of tears must be shed before i say goodbye.
So hard to concentrate on other things when i don’t know
If anything will ever be the same when i get home

But You have helped me in my life more than anyone else
And living life without You would be worse than any hell.
Maybe all these thoughts show weakness, and i shouldn’t tell
You how i feel, but i can’t handle silence very well.

And all this loneliness it grows until i might just break
Only love takes out my knees
Strong when it comes to hate


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