my Journey
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2012-09-11 12:55:23 (UTC)


Break me inside with the weight of the scales
As i try to rewind all the times that i’ve failed
i will do this to undo the choices i’ve made
As i stew over past mistakes blue in the face

How do i hide all the things that I feel? I keep trying to find a way just to conceal
All the anger and hurt that keeps boiling up and in case it spills over there won’t be enough
That could ever be done to undo what they did and I pray every day I just might see my kid
But they’re keeping him from me so they’ll feel they win
And as long as I’m down then they do in the end
But this isn’t a war between me and all them
The pain trickles down to the one innocent
There’s no way to come back, and there’s nothing to say
Don’t waste your time asking how I am today
Cause the weight that I carry shoots straight out my eyes
And if you’d take one second then you’d realize
That it’s not a good question to ask me right now
My smile’s so heavy it’s still just a frown
And i’m drowning in sorrow, i can’t catch my breath
I’m running in circles goin down with the ship
I’m the captain of tragedy; watch my demise
As I twist and I turn trying hard to disguise
All the pain that I feel so my loved ones won’t hurt
Walking in slow mo and it’s all a blur
Seems the world’s moving too fast, and i can’t keep up
But it really don’t matter: my best’s not enough

Arms tied tight behind me; harm’s trying to fight me
It’s trying to suffocate, snuff out this life
And i feel my light fading, the darkness invading
My heart’s beating so fast…i’m falling behind
No rewinding available; becoming incapable
Of making sure I can stay mentally stable
Manufacturing labels, fake deals on the table
He’s watching the bullshit right there from his cradle
Twist me a cable to make me a noose
The only productive thing that you could do
If you want to take one parent out of his life
Why not start with the one who keeps making up lies
Why not start with the one who keep stealing my time
With him? Start with the one who puts him on the line
Who’d hurt the baby selfishly for their pride?

Fall 2010