MasterWolf_ncs_lilbrat

my Journey
2012-09-10 14:42:56 (UTC)

Making myself More Pleasing

In my last entry i explored the idea of what traits or qualities about me make me pleasing to my Master. After coming up with my own small list here, i decided to ask Him. i asked Him what makes me pleasing, but then i thought of a second question...a follow-up question: what would make me MORE pleasing?

He responded, "oh god" i apologized. He said, "I'm getting ready to eat. I aint got time to get into that." i just said, "yes, Sir."

i don't know why the question didn't occur to me before.

What would make me more pleasing to my Master?

1) To obey His rules.
Sometimes i am good about this, and i do try to be obedient, but sometimes i fail. This is a list of all the rules i can think of off the top of my head.
-->Always act as if He is standing right beside me. If i wouldn't do it in front of Him, i shouldn't do it at all.
-->Go to bed at a specified time.
-->Never touch His body without His permission except to shower in which case touching cannot be sensual or pleasurable.
-->Always go 3 tiers before orgasm.
-->Stay away from people who are bad for me, esp. ones specified.
-->Eye restriction, use of titles, etc. Basic protocol.
-->Absolute submission: i am a slave, not a sub. He offered me the choice. Now all my choices are His. Even if i don't like something, it is not my decision anymore.
-->Honesty: i am never hide things from Him.
-->Total access: webcam on at all times, etc.
-->Asking permission to leave the house, sending inspection pics for different reasons throughout the day.
-->NO SMOKING!
-->Keep up with the things that need to be done...be responsible.

2) To know Him better, to anticipate His needs and provide them without prompting.

3) To have a level of creativity and spontaneity that surpasses my current inhibitions and insecurities...what if i come on too strong? What if what i do isn't pleasing? What if one of His previous slaves did it better? What can i possibly give Him that none of them have before except the rest of my life and every single part of me forever?

...

i feel ashamed that the list of things that are pleasing (or at least that i THINK are pleasing) is so long compared to this...i know there must be so many more things...

4) To find more ways to please Him.

Well that's at least one.

i don't want to write this anymore. This is a very difficult introspective task to do alone.

He never brought it up again after He ate. He has taught me indirectly to not keep bringing things up. In the beginning, when i wanted an answer about something, especially permission to cum, He would ask a completely random question about something He knew i didn't give two shits about.

It was kind of like, "you aren't in control. I am. you can't control Me, and trying will get you nowhere." It was probably my first lesson in topping from the bottom. It's such a tempting thing to do. Originally i would press my question, and then He would talk about whatever the other topic was for much longer. i found that when i answered His questions and was willing to focus on Him and His wishes rather than my own desperate need for release He would abandon the other topic and address my question. He may not answer me when i want an answer, and it is not my place to determine when or if He does.

So i won't bring up my question again. He knows it was asked. Plus today is not a good day. He says He is probably getting sick...feels tired and puny and all.

One day we will discuss it but not today.




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