my Journey
2012-09-10 02:41:40 (UTC)

He Cut His Hair

His Hair isn't just Hair. It's a part of Who He is...a part of His culture. It gives Him strength and's a symbol of the respect He deserves. His Hair symbolizes His Authority to me...It reminds me of all the years He has experienced things...He is so much wiser and stronger...He's an Elder.

He had to cut it because He is trying to get a job. We both know it was necessary, but when i saw it cut i just wanted to cry. It's like a part of Him has been taken away. His Hair was part of His identity. With it cut, He seems so much weaker. It's just so sad.

i told Him it looks good, and it does for being cut. He probably cut off 7 years worth of hair. i loved touching it when i kissed Him. It made me feel so secure to snuggle into His chest and touch His Hair. i don't know why. Now it's all gone.

If He can get a job, then we can say it was a necessary sacrifice and at least something good came of it. But if He cut His Hair hoping for a job opportunity and doesn't get one...then it will just be too much to bear.

i always tried to keep up with Him. Ever since He collared me i haven't cut my hair. i have been growing it out, knowing i could never catch up to Him. And now my hair is twice as long...i feel guilty about it. He is supposed to be more than me. He is my Teacher, my Mentor, my Master, my Example, my Leader. i shouldn't be more than He is. He is what i am trying to be. It's just so sad. So sad. i hate it.

i feel so bad that He had to go through that. He doesn't talk much about it, but i'm sure He feels pretty upset about it too. It was HIS Hair after all. i don't bring it up since He doesn't. i know we are both sad. i sense it. It really depressed Him. Life shouldn't have to be this way. It's like part of His Spirit is gone now.

Will it ever be the same again?

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