MasterWolf_ncs_lilbrat

my Journey
2012-09-10 02:33:58 (UTC)

Alzheimers

Master is afraid He is developing Alzheimers. We were on the phone today. He had me on speakerphone because He was messing with His motorcycle. He heard Abbie in the background and freaked out wondering where the hell the noise was coming from. He was confused because He had forgotten He was on the phone with me.

i know i need to expect these things, but it's hard. i want Master to cherish what we have together. i am afraid by the time we finally are able to live together, all our memories will only live on in my mind. It makes me sad, and it's scary to think about. i have so many questions. Will He forget why He loves me? Will He forget His promises? Will He forget the things a person can say or do that really hurt me and then do them unintentionally? Will He forget He wants to marry me? What if He forgets me altogether? What if He forgets Abbie?

This is another topic i won't discuss with Him. i know He can't help it, and i know He would never hurt me. But i also know that if He develops Alzheimers He will have no control over what He forgets. i've only been a part of His life for less than three short years. It seems easy to forget about me.

i don't want Him to forget about us. Sometimes i ask Him if He remembers something, and He doesn't. i am restricted when i reference things we have done for this reason.

i know He is a lot older than me, but some of the issues that might come up as a result of the age difference are ones i have never had to deal with before, and i just don't know how to handle them.

No matter what He might forget, i will always be there for Him and love Him. He may not remember, but He will never be alone.




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