2012-09-03 14:49:09 (UTC)

First entry.

I don't know where to start really. Guess I'm writing this as I'm finding my counselling isn't working all that well for me. I don't really want to get too deep too fast sorta thing which is why I have trouble speaking to a counsellor face-to-face. I guess the place to start is to state what's really bothering me now.My partner of 3yrs recently just broke up with me. I honestly believe it was me, I made my partner a completely different person. He no longer sees the world the way he used to, he was pure & kind-hearted. My depression bought him down. In all fairness, I did warn him when he asked me out what was wrong with me. He insisted that he wanted to be with me & that he'd help me no matter what & will always support me but I can't help feeling like I've ruined him. When he met me I was on anti-depressants and was covered in scars and wasn't meant to be with someone. I should have been stronger and told him I couldn't be with him. But here I am, alone and worse than before. I got out of bed today for the first time in 5 days. Before that, it didn't quite hit me straight away. I tried to tell myself he'd want me back but why would he want me back? Sorry to the few people that read this, for the depressing topic but I just need to do something to help me deal with this.

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