Fallen from Grace
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2012-08-25 22:57:59 (UTC)

old faithful

Well diary I find myself confiding in you again. Aristotle once said "we cannot learn without pain." Well I know I have been through my share lately. In Florida I was forced to sell drugs and have sex for money for someone else. I had a stalker follow me from Tampa to Daytona. The same guy stabbed me in the arm because I refused to steal and sell drugs for him anymore. Up till now most people don't know it. Keep in mind I am not saying this to get sympathy but rather empathy and understanding. Then I sit on a bus for 37 straight hours for a promise that would of made all the struggle worth it all in the end. I got 8 hours away from home. The women I was so in love with and had fought to be with had fallen in love with another! She let me stay with her and I was crushed as you can imagine. I was OK with her having a boyfriend and being my mistress until she started trying to get the boyfriend and I to fight. I had said to the boyfriend that she was using toys on me and having me go down on her. She got mad about me being honest with her man. She kicked me out on the streets.

I am not about holding grudges I just feel beyond betrayed. I am giving up on her. I am not giving up because I'm weak but rather finally strong enough to let her go. I know I could say I will never trust another woman again but it singles out an entire gender. Which would make me worse then a racist. Very soon I must leave this place. I must leave this place so that I never let loneliness drag me back into the arms of someone I know I do not belong to. I am at the point in my life when I must walk away from all the drama and those that create it. I must surround myself with laughter, happiness and joy. I am moving onand must forget those who are bad for me and wish me harm. I smile and embrace those who treat me right and pray that the Gods have mercy on those who try to harm me for I shall not anymore. Life is to short to be anything other then happy. Falling down is a part of development,which is the foundation of life. Getting back up is living life. Looks like Aristotle is right, it seems like being a Taurus I always have to learn the hard way. If I can talk to Pandora
I would simply say I named you right. You are the destroyer of worlds and no longer my source of hope. The tides have changed and you can forsake no more