Welcome To My Life.
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2012-08-22 17:36:47 (UTC)

Sometimes things just suck.

You know sometimes I try everything to impress you and everything, but I always get that damn feeling you don't like me anymore. I stay up every night til like 3 or 4 just to hear your voice even if it is just for a few seconds. I can't text or go anywhere with anyone without you getting jealous. I want to be with you. I want you in my life forever, but sometimes I feel like you don't want to. I call you all the nicknames in the world and all I get in return is cool, k, awesome, and alright. It's like you don't even want to be a part of my life anymore. I really like you and don't want to lose you. Sometimes things just suck. I wish there was a way I can fix it all. At least to see you and tell you face to face how I feel. Just to be in your arms and have your lips touch mine. I'd do anything to be in your arms boy. Sometimes crying to a computer while writing in a journal is all you can do to make the pain go away.

And then with family, I always feel like I'm the only one that doesn't fit in. I'm the middle child out of 7 kids. I hardly get any attention from anyone. I'm like the ugly duckling in my family or the black sheep. I mean I don't mind being alone in my room for several hours listening to music. But I hate that I feel so alone without anyone to talk to in my family. Like earlier today, I was looking for all our school pictures , and my mom usually keeps them all under her bed. I found everyone else's pictures but mine. My mom said she didn't know where she has them which made me kinda sad. I feel like screaming out for help, but I know i won't find someone to help me. I'm kinda tired of it all. I'm actually glad I'm going back to my grandma's house to go back to school. It's my last year of high school. I'm going to try to make it as great as I can.