Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2012-08-17 01:19:25 (UTC)

Just smile... You're okay.

Today I spoke on the phone with the 4 most important women in my life right now. DDSR.

Each of them have their own problems. I have mine.

Each of them are coping with their problems. I need too, as well.

Of the 4 women, I need to remind myself how lucky I am. I'm doing so well for myself. There is no need for me to feel the way I have been feeling. What am I so afraid of? I'm harming myself, by holding myself back from living MY life.

I need to remind myself, even though I have felt lonely the last few weeks, I truly am not alone. I have 5 wonderful women who care about me, and who want to make sure I am doing okay.

Last night I asked why do I feel lonely, asking for friends. I got my answer today and I am not alone. I have my friends, but they just aren't holding my all the way, and that's okay. I've learned that good friendships are the ones that you can easily pick up after not speaking to them after awhile.

I don't need a man to make me feel fulfilled. Please remember that. I am hurting myself by wanting something that only comes to those who least expect it. And, I'm expecting it all the time, everyday and anywhere. It's hard for me to stop thinking about it. But maybe this is what I need to do, for the sake of my insanity.

I am a good person. I am doing well for myself. I am loved. I am not alone.

I will be fine :)