*x*x*The Red Haired Girl*x*x

My Life
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2012-08-14 02:24:34 (UTC)

Oh look, I'm venting....a lot. Someone please shut me up. =.=

I'm new to this, so I'm not sure what to do exactly...I might as well start out with introducing myself.
I'm not going to say my name, because I am seriously paranoid like that, but I still feel as if I should put some basic stuff out right now.

I'm a girl, who loves to write, sing, act, and watch anime. Yes, I love anime, you read that right. Black Butler, Hetalia, Ouran, etc...if that even means anything to you. And I'm a brony. (Fluttershy is the best. No question 'bout it! I love Pinkie Pie, but Fluttershy is just amazing.)I have bright red hair and blue eyes, and tons of freckles. I'm tall, and I stand out against people my age.

I have a lot of feelings, I don't really care what other people think about them. I'm just going to put them out there when I want, alright? Maybe deep down, I really do care about what people think, but for right now, I think that I don't care much about other people's opinions unless they really are hurtful.

Writing is huge to me, even though I'm very young. I'm going to put that out there too. I'm over ten, but under fifteen; so I still have some trouble dealing with older people...I'm still a child, so I figure I can still justify that. Older writers can be extremely helpful and nice, but can be really mean at the same time. I don't have highly advanced grammar skills, which irks me a lot but all I can do is try to improve.

I use writing sites such as Fanfiction, and Omegle. I write fanfiction mainly for the Hetalia fanbase, and I've been told I'm good at it. I enjoy writing fanfiction a lot, but I've detached from the site and usually just use Omegle to talk to other fanfiction writers/roleplayers.

I haven't really told anyone about what I'm about to say, and I'm kind of hesitant to; but that's what a diary is for, to vent your feelings...so I should be fine.

I've been using Omegle for awhile now, mostly because of the amazing 'disconnect' feature. It's really nice actually, because if you feel uncomfortable you can just leave the conversation quickly. I use the feature usually, as I find a lot of intrusive/bad people on the site.(The site can be a bit too good to be true.) Yet, among the bad writing and /terrible/ character roleplaying, there are tons of very good writers and people that are good at what they do. I, personally, like to believe I'm good at the characters that I roleplay and that my writing is sufficient enough to be viewed as slightly advanced.

I know my writing is good. I've been told by people online and offline that I'm good at writing, but criticism is still hard for me to take. I think criticism is hard for everyone, but some don't like to admit it.

After reading all of these amazing fanfiction pieces, its not odd for me to feel motivated and inspired to write my own selection about my favorite characters in different situations. So, I frequently write up 'starters' or paragraphs that start a roleplay between me and another person. I do realize I'm not a prodigy, or a flawless writer, but sometimes the responses I get make me feel bad about myself.

After writing the majority of this, I'm starting to think I sound a bit whiny just because of /one/ response that I got that made me feel so bad. I know the person was trying to help on the other end, but I can't stop thinking about it.

I was on Omegle, and was trying out a new prompt/starter piece. If people don't want to roleplay, I'm fine with that, but I do really enjoy having feeback on my work so I request that. After reading the prompt, the other person explained to me that my writing style was terrible and that I needed to improve. I was writing back a reply when the stranger replied before me, posting that I shouldn't try and attack her because I had asked for her help in the first place. My reply that I was still in the middle of typing was a post that was thanking her and accepting the constructive criticism....I felt like crap afterwards. I apologized for wasting her time in numerous posts, and I couldn't help but feel defeated in so many ways. Was my writing really that bad? After thinking for a long time, and carrying out the conversation with her about my writing, I briefly thought about the fact I was younger. I was really tempted to put: 'Well, I'm still a kid, so you have to keep in mind I'm still trying stuff out...'etc; and maybe I should have, but I didn't.

I exited out of the conversation when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, and thought for a long time before deleting the prompt I had written and shown her and then logging on to this.

I feel like I should proof read what I wrote up there, but diaries aren't supposed to be censored of your feelings; so I'll leave it. I probably sound like a whiny kid, and truth be told, I am still a kid; but I'm beyond the point of caring.

I probably sounded all serious too. I'm not really that serious, but I think that when I'm feeling angry or sad I tend to act more mature. That's what I've been told as well...I don't know.

I haven't really read what other people wrote on this site, so it's time to check it out, I guess. Maybe me writing in this thing will become a regular thing, but who knows? I'll go off and stop writing for the moment...maybe the prompt was a fluke. (Arg, I need to stop thinking about that. -.-)


The Red Haired Girl