D_Mamms

Petty Problems
2012-08-13 02:52:36 (UTC)

My latest....thing?

Dear reader,

So this is one of those happy entries that will rarely show up on here! If you've been following, you know that the guy I like(d) is in a relationship, cheats on his boyfriend with me, and it's killing me. But I had a total stranger tell me that I'm just the convenience guy, which, honestly, I'm surprised I never had thought of. And so I decided to get my act together and stop wallowing in self-pity and move on.
And so, not even 24 hours after I told him that I'm stopping, life threw a new guy at me -- the guy who I've had feelings for since literally the first time we spoke. Yeah, I sound like 13 year old girl, I'm over it lol.
But here's the catch: in new guy's last relationship, he cheated on his boyfriend. I know that he still talks to the guy he cheated with, but like, they're friends, so it's expected. We're not official or anything, but we've been spending a lot of time together lately and I feel that it's moving towards that. I'm just nervous because of the whole other guy, thing.
Also, what would happen if this does become a relationship? How do I handle it? I couldn't care less if people know, but I don't want my family to know. I know they wouldn't be disappointed, and I know they would support me in whoever I date, but like...liking guys isn't something that I'm proud of. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed and embarrassed by it, which sucks because it's something I can't help. I'm not trying to have some "born this way" vs. "it's a choice" debate, I'm just saying that I'm nervous and anxious and blerg (for lack of a better term.

-David




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