D_Mamms
Petty Problems
My latest....thing?
Dear reader,
So this is one of those happy entries that will rarely show up on here! If you've been following, you know that the guy I like(d) is in a relationship, cheats on his boyfriend with me, and it's killing me. But I had a total stranger tell me that I'm just the convenience guy, which, honestly, I'm surprised I never had thought of. And so I decided to get my act together and stop wallowing in self-pity and move on.
And so, not even 24 hours after I told him that I'm stopping, life threw a new guy at me -- the guy who I've had feelings for since literally the first time we spoke. Yeah, I sound like 13 year old girl, I'm over it lol.
But here's the catch: in new guy's last relationship, he cheated on his boyfriend. I know that he still talks to the guy he cheated with, but like, they're friends, so it's expected. We're not official or anything, but we've been spending a lot of time together lately and I feel that it's moving towards that. I'm just nervous because of the whole other guy, thing.
Also, what would happen if this does become a relationship? How do I handle it? I couldn't care less if people know, but I don't want my family to know. I know they wouldn't be disappointed, and I know they would support me in whoever I date, but like...liking guys isn't something that I'm proud of. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed and embarrassed by it, which sucks because it's something I can't help. I'm not trying to have some "born this way" vs. "it's a choice" debate, I'm just saying that I'm nervous and anxious and blerg (for lack of a better term.
-David
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