ideadangel23

Fallen from Grace
2012-08-06 14:09:02 (UTC)

Wounds substained

Today I was thinking about my life as of the last year. I have really been through some trials and tribulations. I am finally ready to accept happiness. I do not even really think of the first girl I was ever with Kari. She crushed me but in my darkest hour I met someone who was so good to me it scared me. I may have sustained a lot of wounds along the way... both seen and unseen. I am so happy with my Pandora in my life. I must say when I first got to Florida I was a hot mess emotionally. I picked up a high school addiction. Cutting myself is as addictive as drinking. People cut when there happy and over whelmed with emotion as well as when down and depressed. I have not cut myself since November 21 2011. At one point I was like a ship at sea with no sails drifting about til Pandora saved me from my fate... From myself.
The best thing is Pandora loves me for me. She understands my struggles and battles. She was willing to love me before she knew I was and even after I told her all the bad things that made me she was still there. In my head its just my Goddess Pandora who resides there. The fact that she loves me and is there for me through all my set backs means more than words can describe. Her eyes peer into the depths of my soul and embraces all shes sees not just taking what she likes and leaving the rest. I must admit I believe in myself and love myself enough now to let someone else love me. When I need someone to be there I do not have to worry cause I have a blind faith in her like a child. The kind of faith most put in God. Why? Cause shes never given me a reason not to. She Called me the other day conflicted on a discussion, I find it nice to be trusted with whats important to her. I am getting anxious about the 15th getting here so I go home.


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