CaptainAkwardtotheruinnotrescue

Tales of a Highschool Nothing
2012-08-03 02:34:07 (UTC)

being at peace and not in pieces

OK,
So this summer didn't go as planned.
But i feel like that's OK.
I don't know.
I feel like me, now.
Maybe it's just summer fever (and i hope not)
but i am literally just so happy.
I don't know.
I feel so happy, now.
not just OK.
genuinely, happy.
Like skipping through a field of daisies,
happy.
I spent a long time being so mad at people on the internet telling other people to be happy, and to smile and stop being sad, all of that.
I was so annoyed about it.
i was telling them that it's not so simple, and to shut up.
but i get it now,
and i'm so happy
and I've accepted a couple things and that makes me happy.
Everything makes me happy.
stupid music and bad jokes and heart sickness, and even my unsureity makes me happy, in hind sight.
all the things I've blown and all the things i know im going to blow this year.
I guess unless you're experiencing it for yourself, you cannot truly understand. How OK you feel. I'm sure this would annoy some one, my happiness.
like some one who would say, i cant be like that, this diesn't apply to me, i cannot be happy about all the stupid things i've done and all of my sadness.
But i smile because i felt the same way until i was happy like i am now.
twirling ballerina, happy.
i haven't lost the weight i wanted to, but ill change that.
i am still socially awkward, and that's OK
i still don't have friends or a life. happy,
i still have messed up hair. OK, hahahaha
i don't think i have a big enough budget for the clothes i want this year. OK, hehee
i don't know i just cant explain how i got so happy and i don't remember when things switched up for me and i don't know if im still sad but im just trying to sell myself on happiness,
but its all great.
just real great,
and im so happy.
and everything is simple.

this year ill be quite busy.
and i still have to get my books for summer reading and finish my art inquiry project.
but none of that matters because im happy and im happy im happy and im happy im me.




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