Lost Soul

~This Crazy Life Of Mine~
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2012-07-28 04:26:35 (UTC)

Numb... Part 2

As the day went on today its almost as if the pain got worse. He did start talking to me like a normal person again but it started to cloud my mind... As it always does. He makes me so crazy! Some days I love him more then anything in the earth and other days I hate him so much its not even funny! He fulls my whole heart with hate! And I'm really not a hateful person... I wish he would move on and find someone who wont hurt him like I have. Someone who will take care of him. But someone who wont rule his life like his 2nd ex-wife did. He is a good man who deserves better. Better then I think I can give him. Speaking of his 2nd ex wife. He told me (which I doubt) that she was coming over and they were going to talk. I don't know if he said it to make me jealous or if he really meant it. For his sack I hope he was doing it just to make me jealous cuz he don't need her back in his life. Oh man listen to me. I really am jealous. haha Anyway, I really do just want him to be happy. Wither it be with me or someone else. At this point I don't know... I'm lost and kinda scared. I shouldn't be having these feelings when I already have a man in my life. I'm start to think I'm a nut case... Lord help me so I can help myself....