Lost Soul

~This Crazy Life Of Mine~
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2012-07-27 23:06:37 (UTC)

Numb...

Today Andrew was suppose to pick Rj up, but later told me he was to busy! How are you to busy to pick up your own CHILD!??? I don't understand!!! So then I call him to see what the hell is up and he starts fucking yelling at me! Bring up how I'm playing mind games and how he's taking Rj and he's going to the school(s) by him. My son means more to me then anything in this world and I'm not going to give up without a blood bath if need be!

I care about him yes, but I'm starting to hate him with every bone in my body! I just want things to go back to normal! To be truly happy again. No fighting. No worrying. Just nothing. Calm. Peaceful... But that's just a dream! One that I really need to get rid of because that will more then likely NEVER happen!!!

I need help. All this non since is really wearing on me. I'm scared that I'm going to fall deeper then I have and not be able to come back up from it all. But I don't know where to turn. Yes my Family is there for me but they have their own problems to deal with. And well I'm an adult. I need to fend for myself now. But I truly have not a clue how to do it! Mom sheltered us so much growing up that its hurting me as an adult. Where do you turn when you have nothing left...?


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