How does one live life?
Ad 0:
Want some cocktail tips? Try some drinks recipes over here
2012-07-15 05:10:51 (UTC)

The Truth Comes Out

Sup diary.

Sorry about yesterday. I was to much of a wreck to write anything proper.

So, about today. Typical day. Got up around 8 PM. Again, very late.

Only things worth stating: saw a movie with brother. It was called Nickie French or something along those lines. Pretty okay. Not my typical genre, but there was nothing else on, so this had to make due.

There were a lot of moments during the movie that I just talked out loud out of frustration or anger. The antagonist of the story was a man with such a dangerous form of schadenfreude. There were many times that I just told my brother; I would kill that man.

At a certain point I was even considering enrolling in Criminology. Actually, I still am. At least when I find myself in a situation like that, I know what I can and cannot do. Not the most motivational of inspirations, but hey, what can I say. I can speak openly here.

It's been raining all day. I like it. I like it very much. There's something about it that makes me obsess over it. If it were up to me, it could rain all day, every day. I should watch Star Wars again. At a certain moment, the protagonists are on this planet where they create the clones. It's very stormy there, a city built upon a seemingly endless body of water. I really liked that scene.

Had another nightmare by the way. The most logical trigger I can think of started last night. Well, I call it night, but it was actually 9 in the morning. That's when I go to sleep. I had just laid down on my back on the bed. Suddenly I felt something I would describe as an object of low mass falling on my left shoulder. Primitive instincts triggered by sudden fear made me react in a split second. I just slapped it off me very fast. During this action, I remember seeing a red light in the corner of my eye. I paid no further heed to it at the time. I could feel a wet sensation on my shoulder. I was utterly disgusted, because I probably had the dead remains of an insect smeared over me. It just grossed me out. I immediately went to turn on the lights. I looked at my shoulder ... and nothing. There was nothing there. I rubbed it, and the feeling of it being wet passed, yet there was no liquid on me. Weird. Spent the next fifteen minutes scanning my room for potential multi-legged trespassers. Nothing.

Then that nightmare. I will not go into detail because it's really bad. Don't want to freak anyone out.

Ah. There's actually a lot I want to talk about. I just can't think of where to start...

Ah, fuck it, what's the point. I just want to cry... If it were only possible. I'm sorry people, I have lied. I can't cry. Not even when I want to. I know I wrote it a couple of times on here, but it's not entirely a lie. It's how I felt at that moment. I don't know why I can't cry. I think it would be an awesome sensation for me. A meaning of catharsis. Maybe I should have myself checked out.

Fuck it. I'm out.


Digital Ocean
Providing developers and businesses with a reliable, easy-to-use cloud computing platform of virtual servers (Droplets), object storage ( Spaces), and more.