katiebell

Inside the Mind of a Girl
2012-07-12 02:35:06 (UTC)

Ugh

I haven't written because I haven't had my laptop, I've been in Colebrook, NH, with Ben, we went fishing and stuff with his parents it was really fun. The drive was pretty long from Maine, it was 3 and half hours and he drove 2 hours to my house first. We saw a deer not long ago, and we saw a bear on the way up there, a baby cub, and we saw like 20 turkeys, and a bunny, and we caught fish, and an eagle. The eagle was awesome. We canoed around the pond that was like in the middle of a cluster of mountains. It was awesome, we were so high up that there was constant mist around the taller parts of the mountains around us. It rained a lot there too. There was cute stores, and animals 20 minutes away.
We were with his parents, and they were really nice to me, and I talked to his mom about college and stuff, and things seemed to be going really well, they even let Ben and I sleep in the same room, which they never allow at the house, we're always apart. I'm always in the guest room literally right next to his room and his parents room. I wish they'd let us sleep together. We're almost 20 and they act like we're 5.
I've also been in Maine for a while so I didn't have my laptop because I forgot it at my aunt's house. Sarah and I fought about the most stupid things ever when I was in Maine, and Ben got me a couple days ago, and he had such a special night planned.
It was so cute, we got to his house, and his parents were still in Colebrook, so we had the house to ourselves, and he had gotten some alcohol, and weed, and he was being really lovey and got little candles and put them all over his room, and chinese food, and he was just so cute and everything was just really nice. He barely ever surprises me with things and it's wicked cute when he does. I need to go back to Maine soon too.
Also, my aunt didn't get the job she like really needed, so, we're most likely going to have to sell the house. She will be moving to South Carolina, and I won't be able to go to college here. I can try and get a job here, but I'm sure it wont help enough with bills. I don't know what I want to do. I think I want to go and do cosmotology or something. I like doing people's hair and makeup. My mom did when she was my age, and my grandmother thinks it would be an excellent idea, and she supports me wanting to sell avon and going to beauty school, and that makes me feel really good about me wanting to do something with my life that she approves of because she never really agrees with any of my decisions. I also want to do it for me obviously. Ben said I should do whatever I want to do, I asked him what he thought, and he said do whatever, it's your life, not mine. But he didn't say it mean or anything, it was very supportive, and I'm glad he thinks that way. I told his mom I wanted to do that and she kind of leaned towards me not doing it, but very subtly, which was kind of annoying.
Brian's cancer is getting better I think. I would like to go back to Maine, but I miss Ben wayyyy too much whenever I leave, and he's the same. When he dropped me off in Maine from Colebrook, the next day he came and got me because he missed me so much and felt lonely, which was nice because usually I'm the one up his butt about missing him and he's more like "I want to hangout with my friends, and I see you all the time", but this time he was hanging out with friends and missed me and that never happens, and it kind of sucks only because we're getting extremely close, and have been for the last couple weeks, and if my aunt sells the house, I'll never see him like ever because he has class that can go until like 5 at night and its a 2 hour drive and he has school all the time so I'll never see him :(
Ben started going to summer classes Monday, he gets out at 12 and twice a week at 4. He has come to see me everyday after class for at least 30 minutes everyday after class, and that's nice because he wants to, not because I ask him to, because I don't, he asks me if we can hangout, and it's nice to have him wanting to see me so much. He's coming over tomorrow too I think. I don't want to go back to Maine because everything is so convenient here. I have a boyfriend not that far away, I have a room here, lots of privacy, way more freedom, close by friends, just my own space. And there is a pool here, and I love going to Ben's grandparents houses with him and family events and things.
I'm cold, and I want a blanket but there are none upstairs.




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