z2smith

z2Smith
2012-07-09 21:36:25 (UTC)

I am in an emotional roller..

I am in an emotional roller coaster ride...I feel so down cos my wife seem to be determined to not reconcile with me so although we live together we are virtually strangers...it’s harder cos she is there…hear and see her...yet far away...i just need to continue to manage myself and look fwd and try and focus on the ves...in some strange way i guess this is better than where we were...before all this I believe we were in a false marriage....where she somehow got herself into a state where she is was just going thru the motions and think that was good enough for me...also I must confess that what is irking me the most right now is the way it seem she easily switched off the marriage...right now I am seriously struggling...so many things on top of this....loss of a couple of friends to a plane crash...my father is getting older and not feeling well, my sister has her issues....sometimes it gets too much for me I just want to curl under my duvet....BUT....that will not be the correct thing to do...I need to feel strong and happy....more importantly be determined....I start that today...I feel I have it inside me to finally become who I want I am capable of becoming....that is my ultimate goal....I think I have just one more shot at this....so staring TODAY....I am reading a book called Mind management by Dr Steve Peters....The Chimp paradox....good book that helps structure my mind better....I will recommend this book to anyone struggling with how best to approach life...




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