Musicaltears

Earth to Sky
2012-07-05 19:37:55 (UTC)

Weight

I still want to lose weight. A lot of weight. Genn came over and we exercised. I still feel like I eat to much. I still have those random thoughts where I should stop eating. Or at least eat a lot less than I do. Yesterday I ate like 459 calories. It was wayyy to much. This morning I made cupcakes, and I ate those. Even though Genn said I probably burned it off, I'm probably not going to eat for the rest of the day. Unless we have salad. I'll eat that. I just need to stop eating so much! I need motivation to exercise everyday. I feel like I eat more than all my friends. I also feel as if I'm gaining weight every time I eat anything. I want to lose 30-40 pounds. That will give me a BMI between 18-20. Like I don't want to stop eating...I don't want to endanger my health. I just want to eat less than I do now. I want to be smaller! A LOT smaller. I need motivation!! I'll find motivation. I could write in this everyday about my weight...except I've tried that before. It didn't work, but my way of loosing weight back then was just unhealthy. I hate my body so much. I wish I could like cut out my body to the shape I want it. I would make my waist go in a lot, and flatten out my stomach. Ehh maybe one day I'll learn to love my body.




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