☣PYROMANIAC☣

✖✖Playing With Matches✖✖
2012-07-05 01:09:56 (UTC)

Darkness and Mirrors

Oh If my grandparents saw what I've written here..
Of course they would become very angry,
and I would be punished for my opinions and troubles..
They don't understand though, how writing helps me.
They wouldn't accept me for who I am.
In fact if anyone knew just how deep my evil reaches..

Most days I just feel so alone,
because I don't really have anyone to talk to,
who'll try to understand.
I mean sure I have friends
that'll read what I send them about my problems,
and they'll reply:
"I'm sorry, or ok.."
My family's just angry, and everytime I try to open up,
I find myself closing myself again ,hurt and betrayed.
They don't know the madness of my days.
How tiring it is to protect them from my wicked ways,
And my secret life,
The one I live online, and inside myself.
It hurts so much,
to keep it all hidden, and bottled up.
It's like this little ball of darkness,
that's bone cold,
and is nothing but sorrow and confusion.
And it grows larger,
Soon reaching my eyes,
And clouding my vision,
Being a big smack in the face
Reminding me of who I am
everywhere I turn.

I look in the mirror,
and I see this chick
With frizzy ,brown supposed-to-be-curly hair
Acne sprinkled face,
thick Furry catipillars
that are supposed to be my eyebrows..
And when I see this girl staring into herself,
I realize
That that's me
That's my face.
Those are my flaws..
That's what everyone sees,
Not what's behind it,
but this billboard that says
"judge me"
And even though I know myself
to be a horrible acid-tounged monster,
That's not all there is to me,
There's brighter places
that take a little time to get to,
The time that no one bothers to take,
and it brings a lot of pain to surface.
My eyes sting,
And I think
who could ever love me?

Why do I have to feel this pain I don't understand?

~Danni </3




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