quietgirl

quietgirl
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2012-06-26 15:36:43 (UTC)

Away from you..day 433

Good morning hun, I'm so tired..I went to a movie and ice cream last night with Dammond, Katarina, and Samuel. It was pretty fun and the movie we went to was called "Snow White and the Huntsman".. It's a movie that is okay for teenagers, but little kids should not watch it cause there is some weird stuff, haha. I'm saying it that way cause I don't want to explain it. Anyway.. I almost ruined the night for everybody by crying..yes I cried in front of my friends and my brother.. The reason I was crying was because Dammond was talking about Shayla, Samuel was talking about a girl he was interested in, Katarina was talking about this guy she liked and about how she went from being a freshman to a senior to a junior..which means that the girl who was in 8th grade when I was a freshman is going to graduate a year before I do..so she didn't just end up graduating the same year as me, she is going to graduate a year ahead of me.. everything is going right for them and almost nothing is going right for me.. Aside from the fact that I know when we see each other again in 433 days I will never have to say goodbye again. Other than that, nothing is really going right for me..or at least that's what it feels like.

I miss you!!!! and what's worse, I HATE IT!... That's not implying that if I didn't hate it than I was enjoying being away from you..no, if I didn't hate it than I would just be numb and I wouldn't notice...but as it is, I notice that your arms aren't around me. I notice that I can't tell you I love you and have you respond in a voice that always calms me, and I notice that there is an absence of a heart beat. A heart beat that is always a little too fast and is never the same because of you having an irregular heart beat, and a heart beat that always makes me lay my head on your chest because oddly enough when all is silent and neither you or I are saying a word at that moment..it is the best and most comforting sound in the world to me....Damn it! I just miss you!..and I love you so much that I can't even describe it anymore....for as much as I hate to say it and for as much as I'm getting sick of it... I have to go. Just for now though. In a little while I wont ever have to leave and you wont ever have to let me go...
love you more than life,
quiet.life

P.S. Here is a poem instead of a quote for the day..it's kind of long but you should remember it well...

Needing to speak
Not wanting to hurt
Just trying to reach
I need you to know
Please try to understand
That my love I can't explain
and my feelings hard to show
but the love I have
and the love you know
Is always in my heart
and will continue to grow

Hopefully you will remember this Michael, but in case you don't I'll just remind you... I wrote this one on the same day when you handed me a line to a poem that you had been working on since 5th grade but could never find anything to put with it, so you handed it to me and I finished it for you... I'll write that one out for you later. Love you hun.


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