Okay today was ordinary. Work..
Okay today was ordinary. Work went okay but I barely was present as I didn't really need to be.
Spent much of the day thinking about my one sister who is dying and another sister who doesn't return my calls.
She doesn't return my calls because she thinks I am toxic. It may very well be. I am sipping on my fourth glass of wine in the past three hours. She is in recovery and according to her I am not. It's okay because she needs to do whatever keeps her sober and right. It's okay on on level. I do desire the comraderie of siblings. What I desire is inconsequential to one's sobriety of a lifetime. I would not want to be the stumbling block but I do wish to comiserate with her. She is actually a bright and witty woman. Out of all five of us children she is the brightest and most accomplished. there is much to be proud of her. I wan t to draw from her strength. Selfish of me.
My children are a source of strength...to a point. They are my children on one hand and yet they are strong men on the other hand. They range from 31 to 36. Definitely not toddlers. They have their own lives and families.
My husband is grand. He listens to each word I have to say. He is prepared to do what ever is necessary.
Thinking aboutv this there is no real comfort from anyone. She is dying and soon she will not be here. I love her and that will never change.