My sister Mary called me today. We were hoping that the cancer had not spread. Not so. She was told to stop driving,prepare for pallitive care and consider hospice. There were no more tricks in the little black bag to try. How frightening for her. The cancer has spread to her brain and her bones. I think the scariest part other than the prospect of dying is having one's mind affected.
My heart bleeds for her. She wanted to live long enough for her son's wedding next year. It is not going to be.
Death faces us all but we plan on ignoring it as much as possible. We change our diets, exercise take all sorts of vitamns and potions to stave off the inevitable. Yet it comes to us all.
How hard it must be to be told you are dying. I can't believe she said it. She is younger than I am. I need her, It is selfish.
The hardest part is thath she lives so far away. I can't hold her and quiet the shaking in her soul. She has her family there but I'm her sister. The one who should take care of her. I can visit for short times but... I feel guilty. I just don't know what the plan is. We only heard today. It is hard being so far away. She is so scared. If I could only hold her and make things alright.