Eel

Flux

every day, we find out something we don't know.
even if you are reading, i will post like no one ever reads it regardless.

i can't believe he went through my life story. from all the way from the beginning of the school year to nearing the end of freshman year.
he's seen all my crushes, he knows who i liked, he has basically explored my sexuality, and knows me from the inside-out now.

why'd you have to go and google your name, only for it to be posted up as one of my journal entry titles.

and the worst part about it is that he actually is taking the time to read through every single one of them when he does have the time...

..i wish people had time for me like that in real life..

he was startled when i leaned my head on his shoulder. he shoved it off. he knew that i wanted to be best friends with him. oh my god. i even put i wonder what hugging him would feel like. could you imagine if i had actually had a crush on him? he'd probably never talk to me again.

not like he does, regardless.
i guess trying to hide things from him is futile now.
i have to be more careful about whose names i post on article titles.

anyway, it was interesting getting to know him on the bus.
but it sucks because he's a junior now.
and i don't have that much time to be his friend...
i do wonder sometimes if he actually does care about me,
or he just asks questions to make it seem like he does.

he asked me too, why i posted all that depressing shit.

if he had any idea.