Fallen from Grace
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2012-05-25 13:17:33 (UTC)

Running Scared

Dear diary, I now know I am really in love with Amanda. How? Well yesterday her and I were talking on the phone and I said something that hurt her. It was not intentional but she told me something that cut me deep. She said I left a guy with a good job and everything. I am leaving a good job to come to her. I drive my boss's Lexus, Fiat 500 gucci and even a mint condition town car. There are killer perks to my job. I can do so much here. I have the good life though I want her. I am not rich but I have it made. I would give up all the perks and everything here to be poor and struggle again. All these material things mean nothing to me if I cant have her to share them with. Yesterday She made me cry because I was soo touched by something she did. She sang a song to me that moved me deep inside of my soul. Its by papa roach and its called no matter what. You should look it up if you want the whole affect. The song starts out..... I need you right here by my side. You everything I'm not in my life. Were indestructable, we are untouchable. Nothing can take us down tonight. You are so beautiful it should be criminal. I havent been called beautiful by someone who matters to me in a while. I was so scared of losing Amanda yesterday I walked 2 miles away from my house barefoot and in the rain along a very busy stretch of road and drove a nail into my foot. I was confused... I felt like if I didnt keep calling she would think I didnt care. On the flipside if I kept calling her it would make it worse.

I love this girl I just I hope I dont fuck it up before I get there.

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