Journey towards dreams :)
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2012-05-23 20:50:05 (UTC)


Today, me & my boyfriend were supposed to meet. I thought we are meeting after a very long period of time, let me prepare something. I even asked him his preference of food and decided to bake a chocolate cake. It was very late yesterday when I decided this but still I went to the shop in this icy cold weather on foot to buy the ingredients. I came home and got to work with the cake. I spent nearly 5 hours with it, decorating it and all. In the morning, I prepared my basket and set on the way to the garden where we were supposed to meet. Its a botanical garden, we had our first date there. Given we were meeting after so long, I bought a champagne and I had flutes in my basket. It was a heavy basket :P
But still, I carried it. I walked to the garden because it was not so far.
Oooops I forgot to mentioned. I dressed at my best, put on my dress, did my waxing, straightened my hair and applied a little lipstick though I do not apply much make up. Arriving at the garden, I set up the place. I chose a nice spot under a tree and laid the cloth down. I installed the champagne & the cake. I kept waiting for him. Usually he's late so I did not bother.
I waited 2hours :( & then I called him a few times. He did not pick up the phone but he messaged me back and told me he cannot come because he woke up late and has some work to catch up. I was so shocked and so so so sad that I was rooted to the spot. I messaged him back & said * So, you won't come then? :( It's ok *
He replied, * Sorry bb*
Then I said, *It's Okay, I understand*
And that's it. That was the end of the conversation, nothing more. After that, all became normal to him.
I packed up every thing and returned home with my cake and champagne untouched. Once home, I gave my sister and nephew the cake to eat. I did not even taste it. The champagne is still in the refrigerator. Undressing, removing all those accessories I've put only for him, I could not stop crying. I texted him and told him I am going sleep a bit and call me when he is free. I slept 3 hours and when I woke up, no calls, no messages! I was so hurt. :/ When I called him, he was at the pool house with his friends :(
You know, I don't mind that he spends time with his friends, but he meets them every day, can't he take out one day for me? I am really depressed today. I have decided to give him time until February next year. His exams ending in November and maybe that is why he is dodging me. Then December to February, I will see how he treats me. A relationship cannot work only when only one person is trying, I am making it work but for how long? Even I need some feedback, some motivation! But when the person in front of me is not trying at all, How will I develop the will power to stay? :'(

I love him so much. I don't know what to do! I pray to God that he show me some way.

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