itraines

itraines
2012-05-22 10:32:58 (UTC)

whats on my mind?

so heres whats been goin on latley.
3 days of school left
Taylore cuts herself
trying to find a way to put Arran down gently
Taylore is putting herself in a bad postiion with Karl and John Michle. and honestly i worry about her. im afraid shes going to do something that she regrets. she is very munipulated under pressure. she thinks she has it so bad. she thinks a simple scrartch oin her arm can cure her 'pain'. before long, she wilol need to do m,ore, deeper cuts and eventually hurt herself even more. and it hurts my feelings. but you know what? thats her choice. she sees how upest it makes me cause ive talked to her about it and i cry everytime. we have definitly drifted apart this year. we were BEST friend all the way from 6th to 9th grade, and in the middle of ninth grade, things went downhill and we just stopped talking. i havent had a real conversation with her since probably 6 months ago. its reallllyy sad, it hurts my feelings and i dont know if it hurts hers or not.

another thing i have on my mind is that I still sorta kinna have feelings about someone. seth. i just havent admitted it to myself. i dont know if he still likes me? i just always think about how it was when we were best friends, we dated, became closer. the pressure of highschool and volleyball team was killing me from stress. i had to break it off, we stopped talking for about 7 mothns, and started talking again. we still hang out, and we act the same around each other, its just he doesnt seem to care as much. ugh.




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