Gia

sex drugs and rock n roll
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2012-05-21 21:13:13 (UTC)

i need to stop

sometimes i hate myself... i wish i could just stop using.. but every time i try the pain of detoxing is to much... i wish rehab was free.. the funny thing is, my life is good.. i have a good job, me and my man has worked out all our problems, i have money, a loving daughter, im about to buy a house, i have a nice car.. and then there is my dark side.. only very few know about.. i have been an addict for 15 years.. i just lost my cousin to the same ugly addiction.. well sorta.. her man had a hand in that... piece of shit!!! i hope he dies!!!!!! its crazy that i have to have opiates to function.. how could i let this control me?? maybe i should get a bottle of whiskey and a bag of weed, lock myself in a hotel room for 5 days and just detox.. and plus i want more babies.. i cant do that if im an addict.. i wouldn't!!! FML...


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