John Doe

Chronicles of a Drifter
2012-05-16 23:01:44 (UTC)

entry 80

I haven't been writing much. Not much has been happening really though. Tomorrow I'm going to have to stay afterschool to go to detention. I'm going to go to panda express with stephanie, amanda, and addie right after. Then probably going to go to amandas house and walk to stephs from there. Wait for my dad to pick me up. I want to learn to take the metro so I can just not depend on anyone nomore. Fuck that. But anyway. Our retreat is next week...its really bugging me. I don't know why but I just have this horrible, uneasy feeling. I'm probably just nervous. Jason finally answeredon Tuesday. As predicted, he just said "what" . I can predict jason's every move like a book. And if I can do that, I think that my thoughts on his thoughts are right. What do I believe? He's trying to apologize to kendal. When he does apologize to kendal that's going to make him think that automatically, we will be cool. And I guess he's going to be right. I'm sort of over it. I don't care. I realize that we sort of overreacted. Actually no, he fucked up. But I don't give a damn nomore. He's a bitch for that. If he had done this before, id be slitting the crap out of my wrists but I'm not as hurt as I would be. I'm glad. I am getting over him sort of. Part of me wants to keep holding on, but the other part is saying, just get it over with. He ain't fucking worth nomore bloodshed. You've cut enough. And that robin girl. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. I really really really wanna get with her. I know there's a chance of rejection as always but I couldn't care less. I can't be subtle and I can't be too all up on her. I have no classes with her and barely see her around. Fuck. Where am I going to start. How should I approach her? She likes anime...soo "oh hey, I heard you---" FUUCK, no that's no good. I really don't know what I'm going to do. I am going to get Melisa to go talk to vaugn and then ill take advantage of that and be like.."oh your pretty.." no...damn I've gotten so rusty. What happened to my game man? This used to come to me at the top of my head. Now I got no idea where to even begin with her. She's a nerdy girl, that's into super heroes, and anime, and pandas and all that cutesie stuff. Someone told me that she's half filipino and half white but the caucasian part of her must be the dominant one cause you cannot tell that she's asian at all. She has braces haha. She played soccer. Addie said she was funny and would say weird shit about the coach. I saw her walking to the bus stop the other day...this is all the information that I've gathered about her. Now out of all of this, I've got to get a base to build something on. OHH! How about the cliche letter in the locker from a secret admirer? Hahahaha. That's too funny. If I ask her to meet me at the library.. the tthing Is that I chicken out and start laughing. Hmm..what if she thinks its some sort of practical joke. Ill put a forewarning "p.s this is not a practical joke, please come to the library, I wanna meet you." UGH hahaha this is hilarious to be honest. I feel like a kid again. You know, like when your a little boy and you go and poke fun at the girl you like and giggle around with her. Those butterflies and nervous feelings you get. Those were good times. First I got to figure out where her locker is. Or maybe I will send someone to put it in for me. Kendal will be good. Fuck....I don't know if I should do this though. I just don't know. I don't want to make her uncomfortable or anything. All right. Let me do a practice thing right now.
"Dear Robin,
Hey, you don't know me, I don't know you. I think your really cute though and I want to get to know you and start off as buds. Didn't know how else to approach so sorry I went with the cliche, corny, letter in the locker. Hopefully it works though ha. Meet me at the library. Ill be the kid all the way at the corner in the last computer. Don't ditch me please, and come alone. This isn't a joke, I'm dead serious robin. Haha, don't laugh, just come =) . See you there. HOPEFULLY! Later,"
Ugh.....i don't know.....hahahahaha, this is so stupid. If I put myself in her shoes.. and I read that. Id be sort of scared you know. Like omg, who is this kid? Has he been watching me? Wtf? Hahaha omg, maybe I just shouldn't. I just fucking shouldn't man. This is embaressing to be honest. But I got to do something. Ill just send melisa to tell her. That's more mature. Right?




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